My First Call

This is so interesting. This phase and season,  much more than I ever bargained for.  I think I’ll call it the first call.

I love the concept of love, in all its expressions. The love between friends,  the love within  family, the love between  a man and his lady and the love between god and every individual in a relationship with him. I can’t begin to explain what its like with God. Words will never be enough to express how much I love and highly esteem him. He’s become my confidence my refuge where I run for dear life, my fortress when I’m in need and I can’t stand for myself and he’s become the center if my all. My life revolves around him. I have found in Him everything and all. But that’s a story for another day. Today however, my focus is this amazing thing between a man and his love.

Lately, I’ve been a little more curious than usual. Sort of like a nagging thing inside to know more and learn about this wonder between  lovebirds. I am not in a relationship, contrary to expectations of so many around me. Not for a lack of opportunity, or issues, but just because of a strong desire to wait for the right time. Not that today wouldn’t work, but considering all that should be considered, I realize: this is just not the time.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a happy happy fun person. This trait was even more obvious in all my relationships. With time however, romance found me. Somehow, it seemed everywhere I turned it was there smiling at me. I began to feel things I never felt before. Embarrassing crushes, undeniable and sometimes very welcome attractions, skipping heartbeats and the whole love works and tirade.  After some incredibly funny, some humiliating, and some absolutely lovely experiences, I understand, now that I’m a regular babe, with a heart and a “future”. So, armed with this vital info, I tackle the next phase of my life: one I have named the first call, since after all, it is my first steps with romance

I realize, now that I am with the faced prospect of romance in all its bliss and needs, I have much to do and learn. You may think what’s to learn in romance and love, after all its more a thing that happens than something to be  prepared for. Well, in a way  you are right. It is quite an exhilarating experience, but I desire something more. Specifically, I desire all that there is to it. I want the sparks and chemistry of being magnetically drawn to a guy. I want the sweet and fun experience of getting to know and accept my guy for who he is. I want the fireworks that comes with friction of adjusting to differences between two people in love, committed to each other. I want to bring out the best in my man, to support and respect him the way he needs me to. And years and years down the road, I want to look at  the wrinkled face of my partner and fall more and more in love with him with every breath I take. For this desire, I’m willing to do all it takes. And all it takes as I have discovered is to do it my papa’s way. And that way today is to wait, watch, learn,  dream and write down my dreams. To wait and let romance bloom for me; To learn from those before me who have it right and who don’t. to  dream about all the lovely things I would love to do in mine, all the fun ideas, the daring feats I’d love to take, and the unforgettable memories I hope to make with my guy. And to make sure all these dreams don’t stay dreams by writing them down so I may remember to do them when its time.

So, I’m perching. Taking this romance thing one step at at time. And loving every minute of the way.