Made For More!

I applied not so long ago for a writing workshop, the farafina trust workshop, supervised by Chimamanda Adichie. I just got the feedback. I didn't make the shortlist, however, my writing was among the first thirty-five of four hundred entries.I got my very own mail from Chimamanda and that, well, makes me feel very good with myself. hmm....impressing! I loved the write-up and i want to share it with you all. Reading it again makes me grateful I signed up in the first place, because: I see a novel forming. This is now officially an excerpt from my book coming soon!

It is nearer than when I first believed.

Sitting, lost in thought, or more accurately, in dreams, life playing on without me, I am still. Still in the present, but alive in the past and in the future. Flying back and forth , to every moment, every memory, every dream, everywhere, except today, this place here and now. I am alone in the room, for all intents and purposes, and unperturbed by the solitude. Today, I want to be alone. I need to be alone. The past plays before me, as the future allures me, and I cannot help but be lost in the wonder and illumination of the two. I sit, unmoving, knees folded and tucked under my chin as my head rests dreamily and my arms wrap around the knees, and again, I feel the familiar stirrings within. Like an overfilled dam nearing eruption, or a domestic fire gone wild, from tentative flicker, to mild flame, to furious blaze, and finally to raging inferno of ardent intensity.

I look back into my past, at the pieces and fragments of my memories dancing here and there, of moments unforgotten, and I let out a sigh of relief. Finally I see. Finally, I understand. The itching, the restlessness, the passionate unrest in my soul…….finally, it becomes clear. I was made for more. More than my eyes have seen, more than I have touched, more than I have explored on the wings of my dreams. So much more!

I turn, I walk a little into the future, and again as before, I sigh. Only this time, it is a wistful sigh. I see a glimpse of what lies ahead, a fleeting picture of all that is coming, and my already set resolve, if it could be said to be so, is strengthened. The road before me stretches far and wide, smiling, inviting me down its winding and unwinding track. Calling my name so softly, drawing me, daring me, beckoning to me, bidding me come.

It is then I realize, this is the moment. The deciding moment of my life. I have reached the fork in the road, the place where I must choose, where truth and tradition, legend and mediocrity, all I was and have the potential to be, meet. It is here I must choose between living and existing. Knowing well that to live, I must confront my fears, leave the comfort of the familiarity of all that I have known into the exciting and rewarding, as well as, tasking, daunting and challenging unknown of destiny’s call. This call of adventure, purpose and impact that leads always to an indelible imprint in history.

I face the potentials in my dreams, I stare long and hard into the eyes of the promise of its reality, and it…… it feels like I am frozen in this time. I remind myself, as I approach the vital process of making my choice: I believe in the beauty of my dreams. I know I am much nearer to its reality than when I first believed. But to pursue its fulfillment, I must take the bold step, out. I can hear, mentally, time as it ticks on by, and I know, in that instant, that it is my time.

Yet again, I sigh. But this time, I do not know why. So many emotions flow through me, and I shiver, involuntarily.

“Nike!!” someone shouts, breaking into my reverie. I jerk back to now and find myself staring into the face of one of my most treasured friends. I smile, ever so sweetly and tenderly, as I totally exit the past and the future, and I say………