22 January, 2011


This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.
Isaiah 30:15 NLT

That is the newest word to describe how I am. Entirely radical. In a good way, of course. J
I just finished reading a yet another amazing book by lori wick, and my mind is stil reeling from all the transformations going on inside me. God is definitely doing something, and though I don’t have wing of exactly what it is, I like it. I like it very much.

I have never had such clarity typing a blog post before, but this time, I feel new in ways I never thought possible. My heart is so much lighter, I am so much more at peace within myself than normal, and that my friend is saying a lot! I am changing so fast that even I am finding it hard to keep up with all the changes happening within me. How ironic! For as long as I can remember, I’ve always striven hard to be a better person. I’ve always done my best to right my wrongs and fix myself. My eyes and ears are so used to picking up what’s wrong about me, and what needs working on. And, much to my utter amazement, I have changed more in the past couple of months without my awareness, than in the whole time, years by the way, I’ve spent trying to be better. I didn’t realize all I had to do was surrender.
Scary word if you ask me. Not be in control, to not be my own boss, to not be able to wake up in the morning and decide what my day will be like. No way!!! But, that’s just it. Plain surrender. And added to that is a good deal of trust and patience. Ok, maybe I should slow things dowm a byte and explain what what I mean eh?

We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort
Philippians 3:3 NLT

Here’s the deal, here’s all I’m trying to say: YOU CAN’T DO IT. Yup, you heard me right, or rather, read me right, lol. You can’t. That goes against all the pep talk we’ve been thought to give ourselves doesn’t it. But hear me out. It’s a paradox. It simply means, we can and we can’t. ‘We’ can’t. But Christ in us does. All the changes that we desire, all that we desire, our worries, hopes, fears and dreams, we are absolutely powerless to influence. At least on our own. If there’s something about yourself that isn’t pretty, YOU can’t change it. It’s Christ in you that can. Galatians 2:20. Contrary to what most of us believe, we don’t have to strive to be better. What we need only do is pursue. Simple. The rest will come in time. Process. Matthew 6:33. This is eternal life, to know Him, the only true God. Trust me, knowing Him changes everything!!
So, in essence, what am I saying? Pace out, slow things down. If need be, bring things to a complete halt now and get on your knees. Trust me, there’s no better place to be. You find that leaning on the savior’s strength, you’ll have all the strength to be and do all you need to do. And He will light the way for you every step of the way, holding on to you, being your source and provider, being there for you. Stop playing super hero, just quiet out. Come to terms with the fact, YOU can’t do it. But, with Him, YOU will.

Discovering this has had a lot to do with all the changes in me. So much peace and serenity than I’ve ever felt before. Now, I am not more at war with and within myself. I trust Him. If anyone can, it’s Him. Now, I’m beginning to see myself as He sees me, a real belle. Someone worth treasuring and loving. I am no longer afraid of my flaws, I do not even loathe my mistakes anymore.
I realize I am my Father’s child no matter my faults and shortcomings. I love everything I am and all that I represent. I am not in any way a finished product, but I am a wonderful person. J Now, I am comfortable with my Father’s timing. I understand that our lives yours and mine, are stories being written by a master Writer. Each page in this story is a tale of adventure describing the process through which a lesson was learnt.
Now, I am no longer ashamed that I am learning. I am excited and glad. I am grateful for every season, even as it brings its own share of challenges and beautiful moments. God is certainly not through with you and me, and what He’s done so far is worth celebrating everyday for the rest of our time.

This is definitely for me something new and evry different, but all the same wonderful. Definitely much more than my dreams. J

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